Death to Sues
by DarkTheda
Summary: I, DARKTHEDA, express my hate for Mary-Sues. I plan on doing each character that ever had been attacked by such horrible fancharacters. APPEARANCE FROM MONROE THE KITTY! Helps if you read my other fanfic. FINISHED!
1. Dib and Bid

Hi! It is I, THE MIGHTY DARKTHEDA! Didja miss me? I am pleased to announce that this is my second Invader ZIM fanfic.

Well, I've been here long enough to discover something….evil. Bad evil. So evil and bad and evil and bad……it's just…sick. MARY-SUES! The most wicked force in the universe! And so, I have done it….I have created a fanfic where the Mary-Sue suffers. I am very mean.

DISCLAIMER: I am not Jhonen Vasquez, so I own none of his characters. I mean, c'mon! Do I LOOK like Jhonen? Wait….you can't see me. I OWN MONROE.

It was a sunny day at the local Skool! The sky was blue, the birds were chirping, and the giant kitty encounter had just been sorted out. But sadly, this is Fangirl weather.

POOF!

A short, fat, and ugly Fangirl appeared. She gazed at the Skool, and heaved a dreamy sigh. She took out a pink fuzzy pen, and began to scribble in a freakishly girly book. The Fangirl smiled, and with a POOF! She disappeared. It must be magic! WOW! I wonder if she pulls a rabbit out of a hat…..

Meanwhile, in our favorite Skool, Ms. Bitters was teaching her class. "Then when the tribes were being attacked, they knew they were all doomed. So they built giant toasters and…" The phone rang. Ms. Bitters scowled, and answered it. "Yes? What? Another one?" She sighed. "I'll get you for this one." She hissed, slamming the phone down. "Class, I am very outraged that another doomed child has joined our classroom." The door opened, and in stepped a very pretty girl. She had jet black shoulder length hair, clear, blue almond eyes, a slim figure, and her attire was that of an olive green shirt, black pants, a black trench coat, and black boots. AURGH! IT'S A MARY-SUE! KILL IT! KILL IT! "Hi!" Her voice was clear and very Mary-Sue-ish. She waved all shy and evil like. "My name's Bid." Bid said, eying someone with a very large head. And now, you're all pulling out your knives, ready to kill the obvious Mary-Sue, eh?

Skool was out, and Bid was following Dib home, the stalker. "Hi! So, who are you?" Bid asked. "Um, I'm Dib." Said Dib. "Oh, I'm Bid, as I said before. I'm into the paranormal." Said the evil Fangirl creation. Dib looked shocked. "Really? So am I! Did you notice? Zim is an alien! Together, we can expose him to the world!" Bid nodded. "Yeah." She replied, giggling. Bid went out to hold Dib's hand… when…

DarkTheda looked up, surprised to hear an alarm going off. Suddenly, Jhonen Vasquez appeared out of the sky. "YOU!" He said, pointing at DarkTheda. "My show has no love! I DEMAND THAT SOMETHING IS DONE!" Then he walked up to DarkTheda, and began to beat her. This filled DarkTheda with joy, because she had always wanted to be attacked by a celebrity. Anyway….

DarkTheda used her mighty authoress powers to make Monroe the kitty appear. Hungry, Monroe mistook Bid as a treat, and ate her. Purring contently, he walked away, licking her guts off his teeth. Dib shrugged, and went home.

Yahoo! I have finished this part! Send suggestions in your reviews on who the next Fangirl-loved character should be. I have completed Dib, probably the most common. And you will send reviews, so I go can to the Crazy House! I need one of those nice coats…


	2. Zim and the Invader Girl

Howdy, ya'll! It's me, DarkTheda! Who else could I be? Well, I wanna thank all my good reviewers, and if you, for some reason, do not like Mary-Sues having to die…. WHY ARE YOU READING THIS? Hello? Obvious title! Anyway….

Disclaimer: I am not Jhonen Vasquez! Because… I am the wonderful, magical, DARKTHEDA! I own Monroe, but none of Jhonen's creations….

It was another day in the universe, the stars were shinning, the planets were fighting with each other… all was well, until…..

POOF!

Another ugly fangirl appeared. She sighed dreamily, staring at planet Irk. She took out a black pen with a skull eraser, and began to scribble in a gothic-looking notebook. She smiled, and POOF! She disappeared. WHY DO THEY KEEP DISAPPEARING? HUH? I WANNA DISAPPEAR TOO!

"My Tallest!" A short Irken guard ran up to the platform the Almighty Tallest were standing on. But, how can they stand there? I mean, c'mon! They have these little things that let them FLOAT! I wanna float! But I will use the word 'levitate' because it makes me sound smarter! "What is it?" Asked Tallest Red, not really caring. "My Tallest! A new Invader has just been recruited to help us with Operation Impending Doom II!" Tallest Red yawned. "Just send the soldier to Zim." Said Tallest Purple. The guard nodded, and went out to find this Invader.

The Invader had been waiting in a room. No, not a white, padded room, silly! She was kinda tall, strongly built, with a black Invader uniform, long, curly antennae, combat boots, and purple eyes. The Irken girl saluted. "You will be sent to planet Earth to assist Invader Zim." Growled the guard. Oh my! You feel so bad for the Mary-Sue, because a guard growled at her! Well, not really. The Invader girl nodded, and got in her Voot Cruiser.

Zim had been using a VERY BIG WEAPON against Dib. So they were both too busy to notice the Invader crash onto the planet. She got out of her Voot, and watched Zim and Dib fight. Then stuff happens. As in a giant kitty appears, and the event ends with Zim holding onto the kitty, screaming. So, being all, "heroic", our little Invader Mary-Sue goes to save Zim!

"So…. The Tallest sent you to help me?" Zim looked puzzled. All was safe, and the evil Sue like scenes are beginning to open, but….

DarkTheda looks up, alarms blaring. Jhonen Vasquez appears out of the sky. He points at DarkTheda. "Dammit, you! STOP IT WITH THESE SCENES!" And then he began to beat DarkTheda, which filled her with great joy, seeing that she likes being attacked by angry celebrities.

So, Zim shows the Invader around, when he shows her a gun, and it goes off on her. She drops dead. Zim shrugs and vaporizes her body.

YAY! That was easy. Next, THE TALLEST. Mwahahahahahahha….. soon, the Mary-Sues will DIE! So review so I can get into the Crazy House where I belong.


	3. The Tallest and Amber

Hey everybody! It's DarkTheda, here with the FINAL CHAPTER! I know, I know, the joy is overwhelming…

DISCLAIMER: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, MY TOASTER DOES NOT MAKE HOUSE CALLS! Oh, yeah, the disclaimer. I own nothing here except the Sue. That… horrible…. Sue…..

Another day on the Massive begins. Not much is happening, besides the usual…. Snacks being carried to the control room for the Tallest, another one of Zim's 'interesting' reports, short, disobedient Irkens being thrown out the air lock, the Tallest arguing over lasers and smoke machines, and of course, the usual fight over who got the last nacho. No one would ever suspect what was about to happen that day…

POOF!

A preppy Fangirl appeared out of no where, giggling. She took out a kitty notebook and a butterfly pen, and began to write. With a last giggle, she disappeared. What was she giggling at? SHE WAS LAUGHING AT MY SOCKS, WASN'T SHE!

POOF!

"My Tallest! We have another girl aboard the Massive!" A small Irken Guard reported. "What? But we just got rid of Invader Miz!" (The nameless Irken girl in last chapter, silly!) Purple said. "Yes, but this is a new Imperial Guard!" The smaller Irken replied. Hey, "replied" makes me sound smarter! Luring you, the reader, into thinking I am smart. After soaking this information in, the Tallest nodded a signal that she was allowed in. The doors opened, and in stepped a tall, lean, beautiful Irken girl, wearing a pink Imperial Guard uniform to match her pink, almond eyes. AURGH! MARY-SUE! "Um, like, hi!" She greeted. "Uh, my name's, like, Amber." THE "LIKES"! AHHHH! THEY BURN! "Uh, ok, Amber." Red said. Purple nodded. Amber giggled. "Like, um, do you two want to show me around?" Amber purred. Then….

DarkTheda stopped typing the story, and began to run very fast, because Jhonen Vasquez was right behind her now, with a chainsaw. "I'LL GET YOU, DARKTHEDA! C'MERE, I WANNA INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND HERE!" (Insert chainsaw sound here.)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

(I am making screamy noises.)

Well, they showed her around, and then when they got to the air lock, she tripped on a nacho and fell out. The Tallest stared out to where she fell, shrugged, and proceeded to fight over the nacho. But it was my nacho, so I walked over and ate it. The Tallest were not pleased, so I had to spend a week looking at pictures of their vacation to Vort.

Well, that's all. The Mary-Sue doom is over with. Review, or me won't write no more.


End file.
